How do you know when you're in love?

[NappyK]

Well, I have my own answers that work for me. I'm just curious what the responses are. I would actually prefer any married people's responses the most, but I don't know how many there are in the community so let's just hear them. The one thing that I dislike the most though is "You are just a teenager, you don't know what love is yet."

[LactoseOverdose]

You aren't, there is always someone else.

[ElevatioN]

After you jerk off and she still gives you a warm feeling.

[Acharne]

oneness... understanding... willingness to give your life so they will be happy... i dunno, that's just how i feel about it.

[Insolence]

WrathChild The same reason we feel any emotions - animal instincts.
yes, and love sadly remains just a simple extension of lust, the true animal instinct. that raw, Baby i would mount your ass right here in the restaraunt you look so good tonight. sorta thing. No matter how "evolved" we fool ourselves to believe we are. at the end of the day, all you really wanna do is fuck.

thats infactuation nso...

[Insolence]

you mean

in·fat·u·a·tion ( P ) Pronunciation Key (-fch-shn)
n.
A foolish, unreasoning, or extravagant passion or attraction. See Synonyms at love.
An object of extravagant, short-lived passion.

Originally posted by nso
yes, and love sadly remains just a simple extension of lust, the true animal instinct. that raw, Baby i would mount your ass right here in the restaraunt you look so good tonight. sorta thing. No matter how "evolved" we fool ourselves to believe we are. at the end of the day, all you really wanna do is fuck.

If that was true, then divorce rates would have dropped with the introduction of Viagra.

[Cain]

Where's Summersong? She's the person who ordinarily dispenses this type of advice.

In my opinion, love means that you care for the interests and preferences of someone else more than yourself. There are two types of love, though: familial love where a sense of inborn obligation runs deep, and the romantic kind you're probably inquiring about.* Romantic love has been, um, romanticized. Used and reused by Hollywood that have imposed certain norms or expectations upon the culture at large. "How do I know when I'm in love?" is a question Chandler Bing asks on "Friends." We constantly hear young girls (16-24) searching for "Prince Charming." It's actually quite pathetic. Or that "One true love" nonsense. Oh, but how do you know? Some people will invariably insist that "you just do."

Here's the easiest way to find out if you or someone else is in love: that person (or couple) does very stupid things. Incredibly stupid things. Things that are so stupid they have to be seen to be believed.

This is not a question worth asking unless you're confronted by a great sacrifice. The individuals who pursue this line of inquiry are often the same kind that subject themselves to IQ tests. "I have to know how smart I am." Why?

Love is not to be confused with sex, though there's an almost undeniable relationship between the two. We ARE animals, and if you look at our evolutionary heritage it only makes sense that sex would solidify our bonds. A provocative book that advances this view is Robert Wright's popular book _The Moral Animal_. He might overstate the case, but the logic is compelling.

I'm not sure why you'd want opinions from married people. Marriage, in our culture, has been tied to that romanticized view. It's worth comparing our culture to India or Japan. Sweden, where marraige rates have declined dramatically in recent years, makes for a good comparison in the other direction.

You want to hear something saccharine and dumb? A couple married for a bazillion years was asked how they managed to stayed in love for so long. The wife replied, "We didn't. Both of us kept falling out of love, but never at the same time."

An opposing view can be found here. http://www.aynrand.org/medialink/love.shtml It's actually quite stupid (again, my opinion), but I've seen others express similar opinions.

____________________________
*The word "philosopher" crudely translates into "lover of wisdom." I suppose a patriot could be defined as one who loves her country, and of course then there are people who love god(s). (Beware of infatuation, mentioned above).

[Moniker]

Originally posted by nso
yes, and love sadly remains just a simple extension of lust, the true animal instinct. that raw, Baby i would mount your ass right here in the restaraunt you look so good tonight. sorta thing. No matter how "evolved" we fool ourselves to believe we are. at the end of the day, all you really wanna do is fuck. Uh, I love my mother but I don't want to mount her in the ass. Unless you're into that kind of thing.

The thing about most romantic-type love is that there's that kind of love Cain said where you generally care very much for the other person, in addition to the sex. I hardly think the concern for another is an extension of lust.

[NappyK]

Great responses. I know the difference between lust and love, that's not a problem. However, you are right about the whole romanticized thing. It's so completely not what it seems like it should be. Then again, nothing is really what it seems to be. BTW, have you ever actually been in love Alex Dark? Or are you just striving for attention through your response?

[othell]

Originally posted by Cain
An opposing view can be found here. http://www.aynrand.org/medialink/love.shtm It's actually quite stupid (again, my opinion), but I've seen others express similar opinions.

For anyone who cares... just add an 'l' to the end of Cain's link for it to work (if you didn't know that is).

[snaggle]

"Girls suck, throw rocks at them."

I actually get a bit angry when I hear about people in "love"...because it's like everyone but me is in it. Maybe if I wasn't such a shy guy in public, I might have met someone by now. I'm turning 23 tomorrow, and the day after that will be my 6th anniversary of getting dumped by the last girl I dated.

Love just isn't something I can see myself feeling for anyone in the near future, other than my family...but that doesn't really count. I've made an artform out of being distant from society, and I think I've ruined myself for the better. I don't worry about what my significant other is doing, who she's with, what she's doing. I don't have any responsibility to anyone but myself, and I like it. If I don't want to go do something, I'm not hurting anyone's feelings, I don't have to make excuses to stay home/go out/whatever. I guess you could say I'm cold or something, but I don't really feel the need to be with someone. I never have, and I doubt I will anytime in the near future. I realized the other day that I have no physical contact with other people. Not even a pat on the back or something. I haven't touched another human being since I gave my parents a hug over a week ago when they helped me move in.

Some would say that's not healthy, but I would tend to dissagree. Ever since I was diagnosed as a chemically depressed person almost 7 years ago, I've gone from being a 'touchy-feely' guy to a guy who doesn't shake hands unless he has to. I guess some of that is just growing up, but I've wondered if being emotionally distant has made me physically distant as well...now I'm just rambling...so um, love stinks, yeah yeah.

[NappyK]

That link was a good read, thanks.

snaggle I understand what you are saying. I wasn't like you, but I am a pretty shy person. I usually get over it by asking questions about the person, or just making conversation however I see fit without being nosy. It does seem like you do need to get out and let loose a little though, but I could be wrong.

Originally posted by snaggle
"Girls suck, throw rocks at them."

I actually get a bit angry when I hear about people in "love"...because it's like everyone but me is in it. Maybe if I wasn't such a shy guy in public, I might have met someone by now. I'm turning 23 tomorrow, and the day after that will be my 6th anniversary of getting dumped by the last girl I dated.

Love just isn't something I can see myself feeling for anyone in the near future, other than my family...but that doesn't really count. I've made an artform out of being distant from society, and I think I've ruined myself for the better. I don't worry about what my significant other is doing, who she's with, what she's doing. I don't have any responsibility to anyone but myself, and I like it. If I don't want to go do something, I'm not hurting anyone's feelings, I don't have to make excuses to stay home/go out/whatever. I guess you could say I'm cold or something, but I don't really feel the need to be with someone. I never have, and I doubt I will anytime in the near future. I realized the other day that I have no physical contact with other people. Not even a pat on the back or something. I haven't touched another human being since I gave my parents a hug over a week ago when they helped me move in.

Some would say that's not healthy, but I would tend to dissagree. Ever since I was diagnosed as a chemically depressed person almost 7 years ago, I've gone from being a 'touchy-feely' guy to a guy who doesn't shake hands unless he has to. I guess some of that is just growing up, but I've wondered if being emotionally distant has made me physically distant as well...now I'm just rambling...so um, love stinks, yeah yeah.

I thought I was the only weirdo.

[NappyK]

Originally posted by Alex Dark
I'd like to say I have, although snaggle will fucking tear me apart if I say so (looking back on the last relationship thread I posted in). So yeah, I think I have been in love. Then again, I'm probably way too young to ever experience love and know what it actually is. But yeah, the closest thing I've ever gotten to love went to hell, and I think it has made me bitter because of it. either way, I don't think true love exists. The whole process strikes me as being some natural instinct to make humans want to fuck the opposite sex more and thus reproduce the spieces.

gg that post took like 30 seconds so yea

Yeah, well, the bitterness is understandable. Love does at times hurt.

[Acharne]

seems like you kind of fell into the model of what what people would consider a "chemically depressed" person to be like..

edit: i'm happier not having to define love, ignorance is bliss as they say. welcome to bliss-land ach.

Love can only be measured by actions and has nothing to do with emotions, which are just instinct. Always being there for someone when they are in need, no matter what, is true love. Need not be in bf/gf relationship.

[NappyK]

Originally posted by realy
Love can only be measured by actions and has nothing to do with emotions, which are just instinct. Always being there for someone when they are in need, no matter what, is true love. Need not be in bf/gf relationship.

That's a good explanation.

[dexy]

if life was about gettin jiggy (makin babies) then we would have minimal need for shlters, food etc... we would probly have low communacation standards (ie body language) and we would just have a 24/7 shag fest


i dont think we need an explanation to know how/why we are in love, we will react to the feeling even if we are unaware we are in love just like how when u put your hand on a hot stove u know its hurting u, its human instincts... u cant download love (some nice videos make u feel inlove tho)

make fun of me if u want thats how i feel

[Acharne]

i've never fallen in love with "videos" (i take it to mean porn...) if i dl porn it's for the defined purpose of getting off, you don't have to worry about the chick or her emotions because you'll never see her anyways... she's just some sex-bag... real life is totally different

[Acharne]

Originally posted by Lich
I define love like this: If I love you I would die for you.

yah, recently someone asked me how i defined love and i gave a similiar response.

[NappyK]

I don't think they mean suicide.

[snaggle]

Originally posted by NappyK
I don't think they mean suicide.

I'm sure they don't...and you can quote me.

[Lostle]

Originally posted by ElevatioN
After you jerk off and she still gives you a warm feeling.

love is a very quirky subject.

i believe you can love someone. love being a verb in this case.
i dont believe you can be in love with someone. love being a noun in this case.

i cant explain why, thats just how i feel about it.

i have no issues telling anybody that i love my girlfriend, or telling her that i love her. i dont think loving someone means you have to make a monumental commitment to them. but im not in love with her. she feels the same way as i do for the most part (she believes in being in love, but thinks its just far too rare; as opposed to myself, not believing in it at all.)

[MindFlare]

Originally posted by [TiTz]-Auron
Just a little advice, you have to love(accept) yourself before you can truely love another.

Wisdom.

[Sterkarm]

Read the Sword of Truth series by Terry Goodkind. He presents a compelling case of true love while giving the reader lots of killing and gore. It's a nice balance.

[][ceCube]

if you can fart in her mouth and she will pretend nothing happened she is in love with you!

[adamantium]

Originally posted by Sterkarm
Read the Sword of Truth series by Terry Goodkind. He presents a compelling case of true love while giving the reader lots of killing and gore. It's a nice balance.

I haven't actually read that but it sounds similar to Book IIII of the Dark Tower series by Stephen King. Wizard and Glass.

[Drinks With Evil]

after they fucking rip your heart out and poke your eyes in with a blunt object. Then after you feel like shit they put your heart back in let some muscle attach to it and then rip out your fuckin heart again burn it infront of your eyes with their firebreath. Then you start crying... what was the question

[LuTze]

You're sleeping together [or would sleep together] and bedside conversation is enjoyable.

[JordanBoi]

You all should read this.

First off a lil history.

English is a horrbale language it ruins the meaning of what you want to say. Four words are translated from Greek to Love.

Eros - Sexual Lust for someone

Phileo - Brotherly love I.E. philadelphia

Agape - The loving of another person (their soul who they are)

????* - The love and reverance and fear for God

*Cant remember the greek word for it.

Thes have all been translated into Love

Being in love with someone requires the first three kinds, and they must be physically unconditional.

Liking someone and loving someone are very different, I like alot of the girls I know but do I love them, like you are tlaking about? No, I simply do not have "agape" for most of them.

Also love is a state of mind it takes a normal or better working brain to experience it, I would go as far to say that mentally retarded* people could not truly love another person.

*retarded means hinderance it wasnt a put down you politically correct enthusiasts.

I think alot of people who get married now-a-days are not in "Love" because they are missing one of the three it takes. This is also why I think divorce has become as common as buying a car.

Now I will breakdown why all three loves are needed to be in "love". Eros is needed for the want to reproduce, Phileo is needed for them to be part of "your" family and be in "their" family, Agape is needed because people's body changes yes I am sorry to say but if you keep making them babies the woman body will strech, expand, and loose its elasticity somewhat. get over it if you love the person you would be like Christopher Reeve's wife, he can't move and she still sits there everyday and talks to him, she hasnt cheated (that i know of), and she encourages him.

So this is all I have to say about being in "love" thank you for reading :)

I may be young but I have had a extremely realistic life around me watching from my brothers and learning from my friends mistakes, I have full faith that what I have said is true.

If any of you want to talk about this further indepth feel free to e-mail me I will enjoy the talk or you an find me in IRC at #thebox , you can even listen to me DJ :)

[Cod]

I'm 20 years old and still haven't said the words: "I Love You" to any girl. I think "love" is one of those words that is overused in the American culture, such as "fag" or "homo". Another thing is, too many people rush love and think they have to fall in love or be in love by the time they are 18 and graduating high school. I still haven't understood that. I guess more people in the US have monophobia than we thought.

[Kaneda]

Originally posted by snaggle
"Girls suck, throw rocks at them."

I actually get a bit angry when I hear about people in "love"...because it's like everyone but me is in it. Maybe if I wasn't such a shy guy in public, I might have met someone by now. I'm turning 23 tomorrow, and the day after that will be my 6th anniversary of getting dumped by the last girl I dated.

Love just isn't something I can see myself feeling for anyone in the near future, other than my family...but that doesn't really count. I've made an artform out of being distant from society, and I think I've ruined myself for the better. I don't worry about what my significant other is doing, who she's with, what she's doing. I don't have any responsibility to anyone but myself, and I like it. If I don't want to go do something, I'm not hurting anyone's feelings, I don't have to make excuses to stay home/go out/whatever. I guess you could say I'm cold or something, but I don't really feel the need to be with someone. I never have, and I doubt I will anytime in the near future. I realized the other day that I have no physical contact with other people. Not even a pat on the back or something. I haven't touched another human being since I gave my parents a hug over a week ago when they helped me move in.

Some would say that's not healthy, but I would tend to dissagree. Ever since I was diagnosed as a chemically depressed person almost 7 years ago, I've gone from being a 'touchy-feely' guy to a guy who doesn't shake hands unless he has to. I guess some of that is just growing up, but I've wondered if being emotionally distant has made me physically distant as well...now I'm just rambling...so um, love stinks, yeah yeah.

Wow you sound exactly like me minus the chemical depression.

[wigglez]

nice post jordi :)

one of the main problems with this word love is the fact that everyone has a different meaning associated with it. when you say to a girl or guy "i love you" they usually take it exactly the way you didn't mean it, thus creating a slight problem.

in my opinion, love is better expressed through description or actions rather than saying "i love you"... do something to show how you feel or flat out tell him or her exactly how to feel. though, i've been with my boyfriend for basically 6+ years (if you count our friendship that lead to our dating) and i feel i love him and still to this day its hard for me to describe the exact feeling. im almost care-free when im with him. i gotta run ... feel free to pm me on irc, im in #gamergirls ... i love givin advice and ill talk to just about anyone

toodles <3

[Trex]

i am 17 years old. i have had several girlfriends, but only one serious relationship. i do not know if i loved this girl or not, but i do know that what i felt for her was far beyond how i felt for any other person in my lifetime who is not a relative. i truly cared about how she felt, and thought about her all the time. this was not some kind of sick obsession, but a healthy fascination in my opinion. right now she is on a canoe trip through a program i did a similar expedition with last summer into the canadian wilderness... the pigeon river/bloodvein river area. i think about her all the time and hope and pray that she isnt miserable. the funny thing is that she broke up with me several months ago, and this feeling still exists. i think there is a possibility that i could have loved this girl, but what do i know, im a 17 year old punk kid who is a know-it-all but really knows nothing (according to my parents).